"I am Ripper… Tearer… Slasher… Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength… and Lust… and Power! I AM BEOWULF!"

— Beowulf

I’m Back

Once again, I have chosen to take a rather large hiatus without informing anyone. After all who would I inform? Not very many people I assure you. But do be alarmed, for I have returned victorious in my quest of remembering login details! Huzzah!

Tags: return login


COIN isn’t an actual video game, but it oughta be.

(gifs by ohmygodwaytoolong)


The future is now


The future is now

(Source: iraffiruse, via squiderino)

When someone cute looks at me

When someone cute looks at me

(Source: rapidsniperfox)

Like it grew out of the mountain

Like it grew out of the mountain

(Source: frenchmichael)

I can hardly control myself.
Mr. Topside - Optimistically Pessemistic

I can hardly control myself.

Mr. TopsideOptimistically Pessemistic

"Statistically There’s At Least One Criminal In The Room
Now none of you can put porn on my laptop and get me in trouble."

James Bowen, Multimedia, U.C.C. (LECTURER)

Having faith in your class.

Mr. Topside - Optimistically Pessimistic

Dirty/Insulting Words And Phrases I Like To Say

As an immoral human being, I find myself on more than one occasion drawn toward vocabulary of a darker persuausion. Some may frown upon me for it, but alas, I don’t give a fuck. As such I have decided to compile a list of dirty words and phrases I like to say. Let us begin! We’ll start nice and basic, here we go…















Now, onto some of the more… creative stuff…

Donkey balls

Flaming nipples

Dog shit

Eat shit and die

I’m no sailor but FUCK YOU


Is this your invitation to fuck off?

Why don’t you take this stick, shove it down your gagless throat and see if you can shove the other stick out of your ass?

Sacrebleu! No no no, SUCK ME BLUE.

Did you fall from heaven? I hope it hurt

I don’t have anger problems, I have people problems.

So you spiked your hair? How much of your dads cum did it take?

Go lick a the hole of a cheap whore’s dog.

It always amazes me hookers can afford such nice shoes

Oh honey, the only thing I love more than myself is my reflection.

I like your tits, I mean your top… No I don’t, that’s a shit top.

Well I’ll be damned, but not before you.

I swear this never happened with your sister

So, you’re a lesbian? Shh… Don’t argue. Of course your a lesbian.

You think you’re funny? Well that’s a joke in itself.

Anyone fancy a cheap whore? I’ve got your mums number.

Listen up you two faced, potato sucking, nympho maniac, close your legs, followed by your mouth and wash the cum out of your hair.

And today you look like… Oh god… Nevermind.

Bitch be ugly, bitch got hit by a lawnmower on gravel…

I might be pissed, but your still ugly, so there!

So these are your friends? You might wanna exchange em…

One Direction you say? [however many years of age] years old you say? Pretty sad I say I say…


I swear to god, if you start sparkling, I’m going Vlad The Impaler.

I dislike you… I don’t know why…

Wanna be my friend? Oops, changed my mind…

Horse titties

Me oh my, you seem like quite the ride…

I am very, very drunk, like… Sleep with YOU drunk…

XXX that ass…

I would appreciate if you shut your whore mouth

So you blow dry your hair? Care to try mine? ;-)

Well this is some pussy licking fun





Are you not dead yet?

I wish you would hurry up and decompose, cuz I wanna BONE you.

I’m not a slut, at least not compared to your girlfriend.

This isn’t a metaphor, I HATE YOU.

Violence isn’t the answer, but the bear that took your face didn’t know that.

I’ll edit in more later… Hope you enjoyed it!

Mr. Topside - Optimistically Pessimistic

Life is like this

Life is like this

(Source: teamsocietyleague, via threewordphrase)